Post-Vacation Haze

Coupled with pre-vacay ADD, I now have post-vacation fog brain in which my mind refuses to wrap itself back around work. Ninety-percent of the time, I’m pretty happy working full-time, it gives me some purpose, I like the people I work with and seriously what would I do with myself all day? (Although you might get a few more blogs out of me, that’s for sure). But all it takes is a vacation for me to decide that lying around on the couch all day sitting on my soon-to-be ginormous backside eating bon bons wouldn’t be the worst way to go in life. There are several distinct phases to get to such an outrageous statement:

Stage 1, morning after return: “Why is it so early? I’m going to go back to sleep and then by the time I get up Mom will have cinnamon rolls done and I crawl out and eat them in my sweatpants with Julie & Julia…. Mmmm. CRIKEY! I have to go back to work today and there are NO MORE CINNAMON ROLLS AND NONE OF MY WORK PANTS WILL FIT RIGHT NOW. Sigh.”

Stage 2, mid-morning after return: “He wants me to file all the what? What is he talking about? Did I miss something while I was gone? I don’t want to, can I say no? Oh right, no I can’t because this is my JOB. DRAT.”

Stage 3, noon after return: “All I have for lunch is a pimento loaf and mayonnaise sandwich I found in the back of the fridge. I miss buffets.”

Stage 4, mid-afternoon after return: “I miss mid-afternoon naps too.”

Stage 5, way too late to be at work still, day after return: “HOW MANY HOURS A DAY AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK? 10? Have I always done this? Why don’t I remember how long a day this is? Why am I still here? Maybe all that sun addled my brain a bit.”

Stage 6, evening day after return: “Have finally reached the comfortable recesses of the big green couch with Flight of the Conchords on DVD and my bon bons; am not going back.”